Stop Comparing
Lately, I’ve been hearing people say things like, “I wish I was younger,” “I wish I was single, it must be easier” and honestly, it bothers me. Not because I don’t understand where those feelings come from, but because it made me realize how much we all compare our lives to one another.
The truth is, every stage of life comes with its own struggles and blessings. Being married isn’t always easy. Being divorced isn’t easy either. Being single has its own challenges. No matter what situation we’re in, it can be tempting to look over at someone else’s life and imagine it’s better, lighter, or more “perfect.” But the reality is, none of us know the full story behind another person’s life. And it doesn’t stop there. We compare our kids. We compare our jobs, our homes, our families. It’s like we’re never satisfied with what we have, always believing someone else has it better. But that constant comparing blinds us to the blessings right in front of us.
For me, I used to wish so badly just to be married. Even as I was going through my divorce, all I could think was, “I can stay in this marriage, I can make it work. ” At that time, I couldn’t understand why Hashem was putting me through something so heartbreaking. But now, looking back, I see things differently. My divorce wasn’t a punishment, it was a piece of my story that I needed. It pushed me to grow, to lean on Hashem, and to uncover strength and clarity I never would have found otherwise. Hashem wasn’t taking something away from me He was giving me exactly what my soul needed.
Life doesn’t always look the way we imagined it, and in the middle of the storm, it often feels unfair, but Hashem writes each of our stories differently. What appears to be a mess to us may actually be perfectly organized in His eyes.
That’s why comparing is so dangerous. We don’t see the hidden battles people carry. We don’t see the tears, the prayers, the nights they cry themselves to sleep. And they don’t see ours. So what’s the point of wishing for someone else’s life when Hashem tailor-made ours for exactly who we are and what we need?
I’ve learned to stop comparing because, in the end, it doesn’t matter what anyone else’s journey looks like. It matters how I live mine. Hashem gives each of us the exact journey our neshama needs.
Emunah