Simply Happy

For no apparent reason, this month I have been very happy. Not the loud kind of happiness, but a deep sense of peace in my heart like everything is exactly the way it’s meant to be. There’s no specific reason. Just because. Just because I’ve fought to be here.

I’ve fought for my relationship with my parents. I’ve fought to surround myself with friends who bring me peace, clarity, and growth. I’ve fought to build a healthy co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband, something that was once a nightmare and one of the darkest times of my life. When I look back and see where we are now, it feels powerful. It reminds me that we have to push ourselves for what we believe is right, even when it feels impossible.

We all face challenges. No one has a perfect life. Hashem gives each of us an obstacle to work through, and lately I hear this truth everywhere in other people’s stories, in conversations, in moments of reflection. When I look back at my own life, at where I was and where I am now, I feel nothing but gratitude. Life doesn’t just fall into place. We fight for it, we grow through it, and we choose to surround ourselves with support and positive people who help us keep moving forward.

Last week, I faced a challenge that really made me pause. I didn’t know where to go or who to approach. But once again, I was reminded that nothing in life is random. Hashem always has a plan, and He always brings the right people into our lives at the exact moment we need them. When I paused and looked at the situation from a different perspective, what felt so heavy no longer seemed so big. Sometimes the miracle isn’t that the challenge, it’s that Hashem gives us the clarity to see it differently.

This morning, I sat down wanting to write and not fully knowing what I wanted to say, and then I received a message from a friend, and in that moment, I knew exactly what I wanted to blog about. I often remind her to “be the moon,” and we joke about how we’re the moon on different days. She wrote to me, “The moon always teaches us that it’s not necessary to be full to be able to shine.” And that’s exactly how I feel. I’m learning that even on the days I don’t feel whole, Hashem has already given me everything I need. We don’t need to have it all figured out to shine. We don’t need to follow anyone else’s timeline, marriage, career, kids, or the picture-perfect life society tells us we should have. 

Hashem has already planned our future. Our job isn’t to stress over every small thought that crosses our mind, but to trust, to take steps forward, and to believe that everything has its right time. Nothing is late. Nothing is missing.

This week is Chanukkah, during the month of Kislev, a month where I’ve witnessed so many miracles in my life. Big miracles and quiet ones. Chanukkah reminds us that even a small light can push away so much darkness. Maybe that’s why I feel this peace. Maybe that’s why I can remain happy and be a light for someone else on their darkest days.

Simply thankful. Simply trusting. Simply happy.

                                                        Emunah